Conscience and consciousness

[Staff Sergeant Christopher] Gerhart had already deployed three times to Afghanistan and once to Iraq. Promoted 10 days earlier, he was 22, brash and outgoing. "You grow up quick out here," he'd told me. "You've got to. You can't be a little kid when your buddy gets blown up next to you."

from "The Last Patrol," The Atlantic (November 2010)

Over the course of "The Last Patrol," Brian Mockenhaupt's ten-page article on a platoon's last days in Afghanistan, more than one solider has a buddy blown up next to him. "All I know is, I'm sick of seeing people laying there without their legs," one man tells Mockenhaupt. "That shit's fucking with my head." The regular medic in the field, a man called Doc Taylor, has had a constant, trembling twitch in his right arm since the first IED. Another soldier, on his first day back in the Arghandab valley after struggling to fight off a mental and emotional breakdown, watches as his squad leader is blown up in the road. 

Six months ago, I would not have read this article. Until very recently, in fact, I have been extremely successful at avoiding all intellectual and emotional engagement with wars past and present. It is shamefully easy to be a great success at this task. I could blame the usual suspects for this--the so-called mainstream media is a popular choice these days--but let's be real, folks. I didn't want to read or think or feel anything about war. This is morally irresponsible of me, to put it lightly. 19,629 people (troops, civilians, contractors, journalists) have died in Afghanistan and 48,644 have been injured. In Iraq, 900,338 people have been killed, and 1,690,903 people have been injured. The U.S. government is estimated to spend between $808,000,000,000 and $1,030,000,000,000 in 2010 on the Department of Defense and other war-associated costs. Millions of people and trillions of dollars, and I feel vaguely uncomfortable and largely ignorant about it. VAGUELY UNCOMFORTABLE AND LARGELY IGNORANT IS NOT AN APPROPRIATE REACTION TO THIS SITUATION, PEOPLE.

But it begs the question: what is? I don't know, and that's why I'm writing this blog. I'll be reading, watching and listening to representations of war and its costs, and reviewing and responding to them here. My goal is to build both a wartime consciousness (What is it? What does it cost? What benefits, if any, does war bring? Why does it happen?) and conscience (Is war ever worth it? Under what circumstances? What are the alternatives? What responsibilities does the state have towards soldiers and veterans? Do civilians have any responsibilities to them as well?).

I plan to post an initial reading/listening/watching list in the next few days, but in the meantime, I'd love to hear your feedback. What questions do you have about war? What books, movies, music or articles speak to those questions? Want to be a guest blogger? Share in the comments!